Hello darlings!
Probably you are here today because of this title or, you are a loyal mate here or, you are like my bestie Losh who reminded me that she had not received a snippet of my diary this July. Anyways, I hope you are all keeping well, staying good and carrying through and keeping up with 2026 because…how in a flash of light are we in August? I mean, my birthday is in 3 weeks. I just turned 30 yesterday! But well, I am grateful for the gift of life and hope you are too!
Anyways, just because the title is on, ‘Sucker for Love‘, I do not necessarily mean, for romantic relationships. Well, that is what we are actually here to unpack. Personally, I love LOVE and I believe it is the most beautiful thing we should all live to experience in this life. My Ameru name means love as well- Mwendwa. While living in Uganda recently, I got adopted in an Ugandan family and they gave me an Acholi name, Lamaro– meaning love (shout out to you sissy Anena!). And, a fun fact about me is that, I was called Valentine until when I was 8 years when my dad realised it was a ‘wordly’ name and so, I changed my first name to Liza. Good side, I chose my name the second time and the bad side was having to unlearn all my friends and family members the name Valentine (used to call me Vale) to Liza. Coming from Meru, kids really butchered my new name- Riza, Risa. And so, in Meru we decided to stick with Mwendwa. One thing though, I wish I embraced Mwendwa in my professional space as well. For now, only my very inner circle calls me Mwendwa. Anyways, what is my point? I am a sucker for love because even my names are just about that (I still hold on to Valentine- do not tell my dad though).
For so long, when I heard the word love, my brain was wired to think about the romantic love. Even when I was told of God’s love, family’s love or friends’ love, it never felt like LOVE until it was about a boyfriend or so. If you have followed and read my blogs, you know that I have had some healing to do, unlearning, forgiveness and stabilising my nervous system. And just imagine, all that work, A LOT to be precise, has resulted to my perspective about LOVE to change or say, deepen.
What do I mean? I have realised that there is so much love out there but most of us (including me) get stuck in one kind of love and if we do not have it, we think we have no love around us. Unlearning that has been so powerful and made me realise how I am surrounded by so much of it instead.
First, as a Christian and a believer, just understanding the love from my Father in heaven was a game changer. I have always believed since when I was little but never took time to comprehend the love element. It was more of my provider, protector and counsellor etc. And that, knowing that someone greater than every other thing that exists in this world loves me, changed how I see everything about myself and how I relate to Him. Second, was the love from family. Funny story; I would tell my late Ntagu (grandma) how I love her and she used to just say ‘Mmmh!’ But then one day, I reported her to my aunt, that Ntagu does not tell me she loves me back when I tell her I love her (typical last born trait). Since then, she started saying it back, ‘I love you too Ntagu’. She would even repeat it like 4 times or so. I have a few videos of her telling me that, that carry me through now that she is not here to say it loud to me. Hearing her saying those words changed something in me including strengthening our already strong bond. Same applies to my dad, siblings, nieces, nephews, aunt, cousins, uncle…name it all. I realised that when I became very intentional with telling them I love them, hearing it back with intentionallity changed everything. Third, was with my friends. Before, I would say it time to time but again when I became intentional with saying or hearing it, it felts different. In short, I am grateful for the beautiful people that I get to experience this life with and it is just beautiful to just be loved and love them. And most importantly, to let each other know that we love one another.
I remember a time in April last year when Losh told me, “Liza, just let me love you. That is all I want to do for you.” That did hit so hard and have not forgotten that ever since. For so long, for me love was defined on me giving. My system did not understand how to receive love and so, I would run away whenever that was the case. I have given genuine people silent treatments and clinged on where I give more than I receive, just because, that is what my nervous system was accustomed to. Indeed, the devil is the biggest liar. Damn it! Brighter side is unlearning that and learning that, it is okay to just sit and receive love and do nothing. Very breathtaking! Oooow!!!Love is a beautiful thing darlings!!!
The last kind of love is the love I give or receive from strangers OR people whom I expect nothing from them. Could be that guard, your cobbler, your cleaning lady, househelp or just that beggar in the street. Short story, in my new work place there is this gardener (a little old, maybe in his 50s) and now every day, we have a culture to tell each other goodmorning and check up on each other. Over the last 2 weeks, I have realised that, if I arrive and maybe he is a bit far from me, he will come close or rather wave and gives me a big smile. I would lie not to say that, he now makes my mornings and I lowkey look forward to that check in. What a lovely world?
Jesus said that the greatest commandment is love. Now that I have understood it better, I understand what it means. And my prayer everyday is to always find and give love to everyone around me. Life is more beautiful when there is love.
What is my point? Let us not define and confine love into one lense. There is so much love out here! And the earlier we realise that, the more our hearts are full. Recently, I had a work trip and on my way back, I was literally crying on the plane (I am such a cry baby- my sister, aunt and Ntagu have had enough of me. I even schedule crying time). I think I was chosen to be taking one for the village when it comes to crying. But honestly, I kept putting my hand on my chest because of how my heart felt full. Why? Because of LOVE I had received from people I did not know few days before that trip. And, love from people not close to us, hits differently. Why? Because it is unexpected! 🙂
On a side note, I am for real a sucker for love (romantically). Despite my experiences, I am still a lover girl. But now, with some emotional and mental maturity. Lucky is my man 🙂
Anyways, darlings! May you be filled with life full of love because that is what we ought to have, give and receive! Let us be suckers for love. And, always try to tell those you love you love them. It is just a beautiful thing to give to the world.
Xoxo,
Mwendwa.
